On Goals
How I think about goals, habits, identity, and action.
January has a way of inviting reflection. For me, that means setting and revisiting goals.
I’ve set some form of New Year’s resolutions every year since 2018, hitting some and missing others. Along the way, my thinking about goal-setting has changed considerably — shaped by what I’ve read and the real world lessons I’ve learned.
Today, I’m going to walk through my current views on goal-setting and how it shapes behavior.
Goals often aren’t the best way to accomplish what you want
Goals can be useful. But often they’re not the best way to get to where you want to go.
My thinking here was challenged by James Clear’s Atomic Habits, particularly the distinction between goals and systems.
Take a Major League Baseball team that sets a goal to win the World Series. Every team begins the season wanting that very thing. The goal doesn’t differentiate in any way, nor does it offer guidance on how to get there. Winning a championship is an outcome, not a strategy.
The goal also flattens progress. Twenty-nine teams fall short each year, regardless of whether they outperform expectations, overcome adversity, or lay groundwork for the future. The team that wins experiences a brief moment of satisfaction, then immediately turns forward with the same questions and challenges. The goal is binary and finite, even though the work is continuous.
Now, instead of goals, I mainly emphasize habits and values. That directs my energy more towards who I want to be and the small, consistent actions I need to take to become that version of myself.
Small and consistent are intentional words. What habits capture better than goals is the power of compounding effects — actions that feel insignificant on their own but become meaningful over time.
Saving a single dollar won’t prepare me for the future. It probably won’t cause any visible or tangible differences in my life. But stack enough singular savings, and I will see and feel real benefits.
Values are even more clarifying in that having a clear picture of my values — the things that are most important to me — informs choices I make about how I spend my time and how I interact with others. Once I know my values, I can design habits to complement those and essentially negate the need to set goals. I’m more agile and more aligned.
Identity has a big effect on goals and habits
Identity plays a large role in behavior.
I started this newsletter just a few months ago. As such, it would be reasonable for me to set goals related to writing for 2026. Maybe I want to publish 50 articles or I want to hit 1,000 subscribers this year.
While targets may help, the better strategy is to begin thinking of and referring to myself as a writer. If I’m a writer, I’m going to make different choices — namely to write — than someone who simply writes once in a while. It’s easier to build habits and prioritize work when it’s an identity instead of a hobby.
The inverse has proven true for me when it comes to learning the guitar. For years, I’ve set a goal of learning to play a single song. But practicing never took priority over other projects. I’ve never acted like a guitar player.
You can hold multiple identities for yourself that align with and inform what you do. I can be a writer, a healthy person, a chef, a good husband, a reader, and a lifelong learner at the same time.
Now, identity isn’t a silver bullet. The same thing that makes it powerful also makes it dangerous. When identity hardens, it narrows how we interpret information and make decisions. That’s why Julia Galef’s advice to “hold identity lightly” is important to keep in mind.
Eliminate should and embrace joy
Should. Ought. Want. Try.
I’ve learned that these words have no place in goal setting. I used to use them all the time. “I want to volunteer more this year.” “I’m going to try to run 10 miles a week.” They seemed like perfectly acceptable goals, but they didn’t seem to change my behavior.
Those words evoke feelings of obligation, not commitment. Don’t set a goal because you feel like you have to do something or you should do something. You almost certainly don’t have to — and framing it that way makes it far less likely you’ll do it well, or do it at all.
Even goal-setting can feel like something you have to or should do, right? It did for me for a long time, but that’s not true either.
I’ve shifted away from what I should do to find the things that light me up. I’ve realized I’m much more likely to follow through on things I genuinely enjoy, find interesting, or am curious about.
There’s research behind this. It’s proven that people learn more and progress faster when they’re engaged. While much is made about deliberate practice, Adam Grant points out that what often drives significant improvement is deliberate play.
If you really can’t get past the idea of should — or you have no choice in a matter — finding ways to increase engagement can help. That might be changing the activity or environment, or finding another way to address the behavior altogether.
But in most cases, the move is simple: choose pursuits you actually want to show up for.
The most important thing might be saying no
Some lessons have to be learned firsthand. Others may try to teach them, but it usually takes experience for them to click.
One of those for me has been that saying no is at least as important to achievement as deciding what to pursue.
I used to set tons of goals and say yes to every idea, project, and request that came my way. Why would I limit myself?
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Taking on more rarely equates to doing more. It merely results in scattered focus, underwhelming outcomes, and unfinished work.
When you take on too many things, you become your own blocker. You distract yourself and limit the amount of time you can spend on the things that matter the most and bring you the most joy.
If you do set goals, keeping the list small — and saying no to almost everything else — is how you protect them.
It’s also okay to reshape a goal once you start working on it, or to walk away altogether. You can change your mind or realize that you don’t enjoy something. You don’t have to stick with it just because you set a goal. Persistence isn’t always a virtue.
I like to read. For a long time, if I started a book, I felt compelled to finish it no matter how much I enjoyed it. That wasn’t discipline — it was counterproductive. I read less because I avoided picking the book back up. Now, if I’m not enjoying a book, I put it down and find something else.
Don’t go it alone
Resolutions and goals are individual. Sure, in certain settings you might set collective goals, but what we’re talking about here pertains to a single person.
Don’t let that lead you to ignore the effect that others can have on goals, habits, identities, and values. Their influence is hard to overstate.
The environment you operate in — and the people in that environment — impact what you do and who you become. The sentiment that “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” is true, making it incredibly important to choose those people wisely.
Others can inspire confidence as well. Some of the things you want to do will be hard. Having others that believe in you — especially if you’re struggling to believe in yourself — can lift you up. Their expectations can become self-fulfilling.
Beyond influence and inspiration, others can provide something equally important: accountability. I’ve already made the case that you don’t have to do anything, but letting a small number of trusted people know what you’re working on can make it harder to drift when things get uncomfortable.
I’ve shared my resolutions with one or two close friends1 most years. While they’re not responsible for anything, the act of telling them makes me more likely to follow through.
Do things
It’s worth asking what the goal of setting goals actually is. For most, the answer is some version of accomplishing something, inspiring change, or learning. In other words, the goal of the goal is action.
Too often I’ve found that setting goals actually discourages action. It could be that the goal is too ambitious and daunting, so you hesitate to try. Maybe it’s designed poorly and moves you further away from your desired outcome. At times, even defining a goal becomes a distraction.
The most important thing I’ve learned about goals is the value of a simple skill: the willingness to do something without waiting for the right circumstances. When planning becomes a barrier to action, it’s no longer helping.
There are many things that look like action, but aren’t. Whatever system you adopt, the point isn’t the plan — it’s the doing.
If I believe all of this, why do I still set some version of New Year’s resolutions? I’ve come to think of resolutions the same way I think about performance reviews. The most meaningful feedback happens in real time — through habits, decisions, and iterations — not a single, formal moment. But setting aside time for deliberate reflection can still be useful, especially if the daily work isn’t perfect.
There isn’t a single right way to approach goals. What’s worked for me has changed over time, and I’d expect it will continue to evolve.
For now, I care less about what I write down and more about what I actually make time for — because that’s what shapes the person I become.
One of them sent me an article last month ago titled The joy of having zero New Year’s resolutions, so it’s unclear if he’ll be setting any goals this year.